Love Is a Fallacy

In: English and Literature

Submitted By kc1296
Words 3616
Pages 15
Love Is a Fallacy - Written by Max Shulman
Cool was I and logical...My brain was as powerful as a dynamo, as precise as a chemist's scales, as penetrating as a scalpel. And-think of it!-I was only eighteen.
It is not often that one young has such a giant intellect.
Take, for example, Petey Burch, my roommate at the
University of Minnesota. Same age, same background, but dump as an ox. A nice enough fellow, you understand, but nothing upstairs...
One afternoon I found Peter lying on his bed with an expression of such distress on his face that I immediately diagnosed appendicitis.
"Don't move," I said.
"Don't take a laxative. I'll get a doctor."
"Raccoon," he mumbled thickly.
"Raccoon?" I said, pausing in my flight.
"I want a raccoon coat," he wailed.
I perceives that his trouble was not physical, but mental.
"Why do you want a raccoon coat?"...
"All the Big Men on Campus are wearing them. Where've you been?" "In the library," I said, naming a place not frequented by
Big Men on Campus.
He leaped from the bed and paced the room,
"I've got to have a raccoon coat," he said passionately.
"I've got to!"
"Peter, why? Look at it rationally. Raccoon coats are unsanitary. They shed. They smell bad. They weigh too much.
They're unsightly. They-"
"You don't understand," he interrupted impatiently.
"It's the thing to do... I'd give anything for a raccoon coat. Anything!"
My brain, that precision instrument, slipped into high gear. "Anything?" I asked, looking at him narrowly.
"Anything," he affirm in ringing tones.
I stroked my chin thoughtfully. It so happened that I knew where to get my hands on a coat. My father had had on one in his undergraduate days; it lay now in a trunk in the attic back home. It also happened that Petey had something
I wanted. He didn't have it exactly, but at least he had first rights on it. I refer to his girl,…...

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